Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Theory and Practice

Today I took AbdulRahman to a friend's house. She has a son younger than AbdulRahman by two months. AbdulRahman is 1 year old. So we thought they can play together.
Now AbdulRahman has a biting problem and I thought he only liked to bite me. Today it turns out it wasn't only me!
My friend has 3 children aged 11, 8 and 10 months. AbdulRahman bit the 8 year old on his cheek and kept pulling the 10 month old's hair. Then he bent down and bit the 10 month old's head!!!
So they asked me where did he learn to bite. Honestly, I have NO IDEA!
In theory all the books say you should calmly and repeatedly tell the child to stop what they are doing and show them the positive behavior.
In practice the child totally ignores you and continues to do what he wants.
Plus I have no idea where he learned to pull hair or bite. I don't bite him and pull his hair and he is the oldest from the children he regularly associates with so they didn't teach him either.
I guess you have to choose the system that works with your child because the theoretical stuff you read from books usually do not work.
I have yet to figure out what method will work with AbdulRahman.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I hope u dont think I'm motasharida or torturing my daughter :)
When she was in that phase AbdulRahman is in right now she used to bite over and over, and nothing would stop her; she sees my flesh and there she goes! But Al7amdolillah she didn't do that to other kids, only my husband and I.
We tried repeatedly telling her not to, sometimes slowly, sometimes shouting-but NONE OF THESE HUMANE TECHNIQUES WORKED!
So her aunt came to the rescue, and told me to pinch her or bite her back. At first I was against the idea...
Then I thought I'd give it a try. So I would bite her and talk to her sternly as she bit me. Bit by bit she stopped biting Al7amdolillah. She continued biting for a while, then she remembered that when she bites, something will hurt her as well (I tried not to show her what I was doing so she doesn't learn that concept of hitting back or biting back in this case), it was just a feeling of pain she gets when she hurts mommy!
But she was a bit older than AbdulRahman is now, she was 15 or 16 months old I think at that time.
Now Al7amdolillah she's gotten over this 'dracula' problem, although from time to time she gives us a bite or two!
Which reminds me of something... I think she used to do that most of the time out of excitement, coz she also used to pinch us as she climbed all over!
And the biggest surprise of all...
You know who this baby is???
Youmie :)