Thursday, February 21, 2019

Speechless

Last week I was invited to a centennial event at my alma mater as a former journalist and editor of the school newspaper. The event was the opening of an exhibit of the front pages of newspaper throughout the years to see how the Caravan covered major world events. To see how the world's events "changed" over time. To my initial delight then later contemplative dismay, I found my front page article on AUC's commemoration of the terrible events of 9/11. I highlighted how the university set vigil and supported a student union initiative to show their sadness at the lives lost in 9/11.  The article also showed how just a few months before that, the university prevented students from a similar event which was aimed at showing their sadness for the lives lost in the ongoing atrocities right next door in Palestine.
I say my initial delight and later contemplative dismay because 18 years ago I wrote. Eighteen years ago I spoke out at an injustice. Not fearing that I would be misunderstood, not fearing for my safety.
I felt sad that eighteen years later, I cannot articulate what is clear in my mind.
I felt sad that the headlines at the Caravan really did not show an evolution as I first posted on my facebook wall, but in reality it showed a decay of humanity. I realize now that in 2001, we were smack in the middle of that decay. 
I can't really put my thoughts in words. I have not been able to for a while.
Yesterday 9 young men were executed for the alleged assassination of the prosecutor general of Egypt in 2015.
I do not know what to say of the justice system that cannot be trusted. I do not know what to say of the concept of capital punishment so easily carried out. Within four years the men were rounded up, tortured into confessions, given a death sentence and disposed of. I do not know what to say of men who so nonchalantly do away with other souls.
I do not know how to explain this to my children. We teach our children that killing is bad. We teach them that justice is important but do we really have a clear model for justice today?
My facebook wall is a mixture of views. I do not know what to say to the people who justify the murder of 9 men, innocent or not. I do not know what to say to those who are praying on the bodies of their friends. Capital punishment is not a new concept, injustice is not new. But the randomness, lack of clarity of the system, the arbitrary dissemination of cruelty left and right coupled with the systematic propaganda...I just can't.
The connection is there. A prediction could have been made. Through my eyes at the age of 19 I saw the disparity of the value of human life and the blatant acceptance of this on Egyptian land. It has come too close. It has always been close. The words betray me now and I do not know what to say.