Monday, March 25, 2013

Why you wearing that for?

I took off the Niqab.

How many blogs, editorials, reflections and stories have you read or heard of lately that begin with a line concerning taking off an article of clothing or putting it on for that matter?

Personally I hear it alot. I also experienced it almost a year ago.

I have been places, met people, socialized and everything with and without the niqab. For ten years I endured people making comments at my choices. What color I am wearing, how I wrap the niqab, the fact that I was wearing niqab. Because it was impolite to answer I swallowed the comments with millions of retorts swimming around in my head but a small voice telling me to keep quiet because anything I do say will get them upset or will be misunderstood.

Never mind what I think about the comments made to me, or about me, completely crossing all boundaries and any personal space I may try to build.

I decided I will make my opinions on these comments clear.

 The comments that are made about my choice of clothing when uninvited feel like someone grabbed my purse, opened my wallet and took out all my credit cards and receipts and started commenting on them.

If that is not clear enough.

Comments made about my personal choices, that affect me and only me, are like an unwarranted slap in the face. Statements about whether or not I should wear black, white, long, short, wrap around or throw backs, when not asked for, are all different ways of saying, "you are not as important as I am, you are not as competent as I am, you must listen to my opinion on you, because to you I should be more important than you."

To me clothes are an inconvenience. Not because of anything but the social baggage that automatically accessorizes anything you choose to wear.

I took off the niqab.

I don't remember the exact date, not even the exact month because frankly it isn't a milestone. I still remember 10 years ago to date when I wore the Niqab. I also remember that one of the main reasons I wore it was because I had been thinking about it and didn't want to dwell on something as lame and pointless as clothes.

It took me longer to make the decision to take it off. If I am to be completely honest with myself, the feeling I had that pushed me to make the decision to take the niqab off (which I will not discuss here and probably won't discuss anywhere) were less weighing to me than the comments I would have to endure socially.

Are you still going to wear black?

Wow you're not wearing black anymore. You look much nicer.

Why are you wearing black again? You look so good in colors.

I never had to worry about how I am perceived and what people will tell me before I wore the niqab, apparently as soon as I made the decision 10 years ago to wear it, I was mistaken for a punching bag.

Nonetheless I made the decision and took it off. I went about my daily life with utmost respect to people's personal decisions regardless of my opinions on them. Because of my experience with niqab, I hold my friends and colleagues who chose to remain wearing the niqab and lead successful lives with it in the highest esteem.

Yes I met people who made their mighty observations that this is better for me. People who made their own assumptions and who made up their own stories. I tried to ignore their comments but I did not realize that each of these comments affected me.

I just placed a picture for the first time of myself on Facebook.  I did not think about it at all when I was posting it. I actually had forgotten that I used to wear the niqab and people will comment on my face. It didn't take long for me to remember though because people who I haven't seen in years (probably not even when I was wearing the niqab) commented.

Comments with the connotation that I have emerged from the dark ages are thrown at me with great liberty as if making a choice means I have to be graciously accepting of people's views on the matter.

I wear black. I wear white. I wear the niqab. I wear the hijab. I wake up and dress for MY convenience. I do not need the inconvenience of someone else's validation or lack thereof on how I look.

The prophet PBUH said, "whosoever believes in God and the day of judgement should either say something good or stay quiet."


Pakinam Amer said...

Word! Agree, and support you x

Maha Abdelfattah said...

عن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه قال : قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : ( من حسن إسلام المرء تركه ما لا يعنيه ) حديث حسن رواه الترمذي وغيره .

Reem said...


Dr Deb said...

I consider those people blessed who recognize that we are not our clothes, not our bodies, not our jobs, not our hobbies. We are not our family position. We are spirit and blessed to be able to connect with one another. Blessings to you, wonderful matter what you wear or who comments.

Anonymous said...

Excellent write-up, properly thought out! I packed my baggage and I am shifting to Boston!

My website - How To Get Girls

Anonymous said...

This attitude within our society is a general rule accepted by everyone. Although it pisses off everyone. Ppl just throw comments, while they dont like to recieve the same comments. And also it gets worse with comments over your relation with your husband, how you run your house and how you raise your kids.....the list of personal violations is endless.