Monday, October 3, 2011

Its none of your business

I'm sitting at a cafe with my baby daughter Aisha. She's 14 months old. She's in a good mood so she's grabbing everyone's attention. I have my laptop, working and every now and then someone walks over to play with Aisha.
Aisha is wearing a long sleeve cotton shirt, pants and socks and sneakers.
It's September.
I am, as you all know, dressed in black and my face is covered.
A woman walks over and she's playing with Aisha, asks what her name is and then says, "and she's wearing long sleeves and stuff (about Aisha)." So I say yeah it was chilly this morning and I didn't want her to catch a cold.
So in an extremely judgemental, know it all tone she says, "yeah asl she's way too young for you to cover her up like that."
I smiled and let it go.
This happened 5 minutes ago. I am FURIOUS.
The woman decided she has the right to a) give her opinion on how I should raise my child and b) automatically assume I would dress my FOURTEEN MONTH OLD BABY in a conservative fashion because she's a girl.
And most importantly I am furious at myself for feeling the need to explain myself to a complete stranger because I chose to dress my daughter a certain way, regardless of the reason.
When will people learn to mind their own business?
When will people realize they can not automatically assume certain people will think and act a certain way because of the way they are dressed.
I really wish that woman somehow stumbles upon this blog and realizes that it is not her place to comment on how a mother chooses to dress her daughter or son. Judging is one thing, it is between you and yourself. I believe it's still wrong. But you don't affect anyone until you start acting upon your judgement.


Anonymous said...

Dont be annoyed dear Sarah I do face that same problem with quiet a few family members n they all accused the place I work at for this change as if I dont have my own mind n free will, I Used to explain myself alot n feel so annoyed, stressed, u name it , i even reached a point of avoiding to meet them in family gatherings, but this summer I decided to answer back sayin that s me, take me as I am or just stay away!! So funny wn someone wd tell u "w da men eih elly garalek da" or "enty ba2ety motatarefa" but now i just smile n tell myself وإذا خاطَبَهُم الجاهلون قالوا سلاماً.

Nesrine said...

Salamo 3alaykom,dear Sarah,my daughter is 10 years old and she's wearing a veil,which is absolutely normal,what's strange is that when my cousin,a 39 year old lady,wearing tight jeans and having her hair coloured in yellow and perfumed as well met me by accident in Carrefour a few weeks ago,,she told me loudly "WHAT'S THIS U DID TO YOUR GIRL??HOW DARE YOU??HAS SHE GOT HER PERIOD?"I said "not yet" I wanted to tell her "WHAT'S THAT YOU DO TO URSELF??Haven't u got ur period yet!!" but so sad I didn't,I just managed to leave,storming that people really should MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS,so please follow this rule "IN ONE EAR OUT THE OTHER"and have a nice day