Monday, July 21, 2014

Palestine

When I moved to Egypt when I was 11.5 years old I was devastated. This place was alien to me. The people spoke differently, their priorities were different, they drove differently, they even slept differently!
I remember when I came people close to me would make fun of my brother and I for answering the phone with "Salam Alaikom", you don't say that they would tell me, you say "Alo", that was the proper way to answer the phone. They made fun of me for saying water and spaghetti with a rolled t because it was not proper english. The driver even made fun of me once because I would keep an apple core in my hand for hours until I find a garbage can rather than throw it in the street. "This is Egypt," he would say, "throw it anywhere".
Worst of all, Egypt, the country only meters away from the one of the holiest places on Earth, is where I saw a hatred towards a people I grew up to admire, love and vowed to fight for. Here is where I heard for the first time that "palestinians sold their land". I heard rhetoric against Palestine that I thought only Israelis were capable of.
The years passed, I grew up and was granted my lifelong dream of visiting Palestine when I was 16. I fell in love with the country, but sadly I was at a stage in life where my passion for the cause took a different shape. While my younger brother, who was 14 then, heard about protests in Hebron he wanted to go join, I was "enjoying the culture" and walking through the streets of Palestine and the occupied lands as a tourist. The fact that I was the only one stopped at every turn because I was veiled didn't bother me, or the way the officer at passport control corrected me when I told her my name was Sarah because I should pronounce it in Hebrew. I was just happy to visit. Although we were stopped at the airport leaving for about an hour, I was the only one not bothered, "they need to go through the security procedures" I rationalized. I was just happy I got to go to Palestine. Living in and around Egypt, somehow put out the flame I had as a child towards the cause.
My childhood was based on the first Intifadha. Our friends were mostly people who had fled Palestine and had uncles, aunts and cousins who were fighting for their lives daily and in constant terror that the Israelis would break into their homes, which they did regularly. Our close friends even attempted to move back to Palestine and ended up in schools for a month where they were forced to learn hebrew and "history" written by the zionists.
Since the '67 war that Egypt fought and lost, a bitterness among the generation that witnessed the war arose and kept growing. Not only did the Egyptian army enter a war for another country, but they lost some of their own land in return. Even the 1973 war did not do anything to abate resentment which instead of being directed towards the leader of the army which was ill trained to enter the war in the first place was poured completely on the occupied people, the Palestinians, who not only lost 78% of their land by then but young men and boys were being thrown into Egyptian prisons and all forms of resistance was being thwarted on all ends. For after all, an Egyptian commander in chief who led the Egyptians out of their own occupation cannot be at fault.
Today, over 400 civilians in Gaza have been killed in one week. Brutally murdered and forced to leave their homes, homes that were originally makeshift homes handed down to them from their grandparents who 60 years ago were forced from their homes around Palestine, never to be given the right to return. Even in 1948, Israeli soldiers called Palestinian civilians and told them to flee for their own safety because terrorists are hiding around their homes, Hamas, the hanger used now, was not even established then. Now lavish Israeli homes and an established country resides over what was once Palestinian land. Slowly the Palestinian map is shrinking and every single time Egypt somehow is complicit. Palestinians run into a brick wall on all sides and not a single neighboring Arab country does more than condemn as they lose more of their land.
In 1992, when I came back to Egypt, I was told by my own relatives that these Palestinians sold their lands. That when the "heroic Egypt stepped in to save them they refused". This is the history that Egyptians are being taught. Because Egyptians do not want to be dragged into another fight. So the facts are shaped to free the general public of guilt. The millions of people living on our borders are not our concern, not only that, but they are now a threat to Egypt and to the Palestinian cause.
My college years restored my flame slowly. By the year 2000 the 2nd Intifada began and I slowly began to realize what living in Egypt has done to the cause in my heart. Today in 2014, the full realization slapped me in the face. The "you're either with us or against us" ideology is what controls Egyptian history and since the Palestinians did not choose the correct government or did not choose the Egyptian path of surrendering to fate and raising the white flag well then too bad for them.
Our prophet taught us that we should be kind to our neighbors. He taught us to support them in their time of need. He taught us that our neighbors are among the first people we should help. He did not say we need to force them to follow our own paths. He said we should support them in the path they have chosen.
Palestinians are our neighbors. As the Israelis push Palestinians off their own land, they will run out of Palestinians to steal from. The next piece of land they will start looking at is just West of them and it is rather appealing to add to the collection. I hope that that piece of information will be taught in our books at a point in time.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Judge or Jury

I wrote this sometime in August 2013.

I will not play judge or jury
for it is not my job.
But fighting for humanity
I know was my God given duty.
When sister stands infront of sister
and pounds her for her choices.
Brother points and shoots at brother
Silencing all their voices.
I will not search for who
is right or point fingers
at who is wrong.
But I will turn my back on bloodshed
To humanity, I remain strong. 

I Use my Pen

This was written sometime in 2013. 

I will not stand in line again
to think a choice! I used my pen
but as it wasn't the popular vote
my hours in line were just a note
a paper to keep the nation amused
while others write down all that we will lose
I will not predict the unpredictable
while people have interests
outside my principles.
That's it, it's final or so I thought
until someone new decides
to call the shots. 

Monday, March 25, 2013

Why you wearing that for?

I took off the Niqab.

How many blogs, editorials, reflections and stories have you read or heard of lately that begin with a line concerning taking off an article of clothing or putting it on for that matter?

Personally I hear it alot. I also experienced it almost a year ago.

I have been places, met people, socialized and everything with and without the niqab. For ten years I endured people making comments at my choices. What color I am wearing, how I wrap the niqab, the fact that I was wearing niqab. Because it was impolite to answer I swallowed the comments with millions of retorts swimming around in my head but a small voice telling me to keep quiet because anything I do say will get them upset or will be misunderstood.

Never mind what I think about the comments made to me, or about me, completely crossing all boundaries and any personal space I may try to build.

I decided I will make my opinions on these comments clear.

 The comments that are made about my choice of clothing when uninvited feel like someone grabbed my purse, opened my wallet and took out all my credit cards and receipts and started commenting on them.

If that is not clear enough.

Comments made about my personal choices, that affect me and only me, are like an unwarranted slap in the face. Statements about whether or not I should wear black, white, long, short, wrap around or throw backs, when not asked for, are all different ways of saying, "you are not as important as I am, you are not as competent as I am, you must listen to my opinion on you, because to you I should be more important than you."

To me clothes are an inconvenience. Not because of anything but the social baggage that automatically accessorizes anything you choose to wear.

I took off the niqab.

I don't remember the exact date, not even the exact month because frankly it isn't a milestone. I still remember 10 years ago to date when I wore the Niqab. I also remember that one of the main reasons I wore it was because I had been thinking about it and didn't want to dwell on something as lame and pointless as clothes.

It took me longer to make the decision to take it off. If I am to be completely honest with myself, the feeling I had that pushed me to make the decision to take the niqab off (which I will not discuss here and probably won't discuss anywhere) were less weighing to me than the comments I would have to endure socially.

Are you still going to wear black?

Wow you're not wearing black anymore. You look much nicer.

Why are you wearing black again? You look so good in colors.

I never had to worry about how I am perceived and what people will tell me before I wore the niqab, apparently as soon as I made the decision 10 years ago to wear it, I was mistaken for a punching bag.

Nonetheless I made the decision and took it off. I went about my daily life with utmost respect to people's personal decisions regardless of my opinions on them. Because of my experience with niqab, I hold my friends and colleagues who chose to remain wearing the niqab and lead successful lives with it in the highest esteem.

Yes I met people who made their mighty observations that this is better for me. People who made their own assumptions and who made up their own stories. I tried to ignore their comments but I did not realize that each of these comments affected me.

I just placed a picture for the first time of myself on Facebook.  I did not think about it at all when I was posting it. I actually had forgotten that I used to wear the niqab and people will comment on my face. It didn't take long for me to remember though because people who I haven't seen in years (probably not even when I was wearing the niqab) commented.

Comments with the connotation that I have emerged from the dark ages are thrown at me with great liberty as if making a choice means I have to be graciously accepting of people's views on the matter.

I wear black. I wear white. I wear the niqab. I wear the hijab. I wake up and dress for MY convenience. I do not need the inconvenience of someone else's validation or lack thereof on how I look.

The prophet PBUH said, "whosoever believes in God and the day of judgement should either say something good or stay quiet."



Sunday, May 13, 2012

The Desert Road

I'm tired. But so much happened on this Cairo-Alexandria desert road trip and back that I thought it would be nice to make a comeback with the details while they are still fresh in my mind.
about 10 minutes after we passed the rest stop near a detour where street vendors usually stand, we were met by a welcome party of Mohamed Morsy supporters.
On one side of the road were old men, young men and little boys wearing red t shirts with Morsy's face on it, hats with his name on it, waving flags with his party logo and many holding flyers while standing in the middle of the highway to give us these flyers. It was a carnival and they were clapping and had big smiles on their face. For a moment I thought where are the women? I just had to turn my head and there they were on the other side of the road with their fluttering veils (mostly white), the red flags and the very same smiles. Their excitement increased when they saw me taking pictures.
They are smart, their tactics really reach people in the streets. This is what I thought when I saw the campaigners but my conversations with people in Alexandria proved otherwise. I spoke to my manicurist who complained of lack of ethics and people's reluctance to spend money. She blamed it on the revolution. Then she said the results will come after a complete cleansing of the system, cleaning the roots of the problem. She stood in the election booth as an observer after being paid 500 le by freedom and justice party just to help direct people to the right room. When asked who she will vote for she said Amr Moussa.
I also spoke to our very well read and well educated driver who said he personally likes Hisham El Bastaweesy's plan and the people in his area he says are going for Moussa. "Why?" I asked him. He said when the brotherhood broke all those promises by putting forward Al Shater for president then replacing him with Morsy when he was disqualified they lost the people's trust.
I went to a hospital to visit my father in law and in the reception hall as I waited for the elevator the scattered conversations were all on the elections. The names I heard spoken were Hamdeen Sabbahy and Amr Moussa. One woman was saying, "Hamdeen Sabbahy wa7ed mennena," he's one of us.
So the trip finished and we were on our way back to Cairo when at the Desert Road Toll station the police were standing and two of the security forces in their black uniform were right there at the gate with their big guns in their hands and a very messily sewn patch on their chest of what is supposed to be the Egyptian flag, except that the flag was black on top white in the middle with the falcon and red on the bottom. It was printed upside down. I was so shocked I couldnt get my camera out on time to take a picture. We told them it was upside down they laughed, first said we're sorry we'll fix it and then jokingly said they changed it after the revolution. We passed them and then stopped at what appeared to be a superior to tell him that its a disgrace they would have the flags on upside down, he knew the mistake was there and dismissed it as a printing error, then said, "do you have ur papers." In a move to show us he is still in power.
We then took the road and reached Cairo where we stopped at an Emirate Misr gas station to get food. A new jeep wrangler was parked next to us. It's occupants were a bunch of young women, I'm guessing early 20's. They were dressed in beautiful clean clothes, nicely pressed veils that match their accessories, their longchamp bags, simple diamond rings on their perfectly manicured nails. They were the image of upper class well educated young women having a good time. One of those young women had the car door open and found a tissue on her seat she did not want, with her friend standing outside she looked at her and then threw the tissue on the floor at the gas station. An act of ignorance, poor upbringing and outright filth. I opened my window and asked her to give me what she threw on the floor so I can throw it in the garbage that was about 50 centimeters from our cars and she picked it up gave me a dirty look and actually gave it to me instead of throwing it in the garbage.
So I went and threw it out.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

VOTE AGAINST

In the 2000 elections in the US, I had just turned 18. I was finally old enough to have my voice count. Growing up when Bill Clinton was running for president, propaganda in the community I grew up in had us hear repeatedly that Clinton is a pre-Jew basically meaning Clinton bad.
Then in the 2000 elections, George Bush was running against Al Gore with the vice president Joe Leiberman as his running mate. A very superficial teen at the time, I read somewhere that Leiberman was the head of the Zionist lobby in the US and my vote sure as hell was not going to someone killing Palestinians.

So, I voted AGAINST Gore in support of Bush.

Luckily, my ballot didn't go through because of technicalities, my inexperienced teen self couldn't bother to search and find out about the candidates. My young, excited self was just happy to have the chance to vote. My unversed, yet influenced mind was lazily under misinformed notions which allowed me to think I will be doing the Middle East a favor by voting for George W. Bush.

Thinking back to those times, I get nightmares. This is what had me rolling in fear of my second chance at a fresh vote. This time to my real home and nation, the one I live in and raise my children in. Egypt, as a whole, I feel is going through the same emotions I had in 2000.

My friends, who I love and cherish, yet probably may have different political directions than me, are, I fear, making the same mistake.

When voting for a candidate in the parliamentary elections, or the retake, I beg of you, do not use your vote as one against a candidate because while you are voting against someone, you are actually giving someone legislative authority, you are giving him or her your own voice. So whatever this person adds or distracts from the countries laws, in essence so are you. Most of the negative information you have of most of the candidates, is based on propaganda spewed at us from our media. We do not have as much of a chance to get to know our candidates but with as much time as we have we should try to get to know them.

Choose a candidate based on his/her credentials.

Based on what s/he is, not on what s/he's not.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Egyptian Parliamentary Elections

As I search for who I believe will be the most suitable candidate to represent me and every Egyptian with the vast differences between each and everyone of us I feel tired.
I feel overwhelmed with responsibility.
I feel like I'm back in college with the Student Union elections coming up.
Except this time its not about the amount of academic gain versus number of parties the SU will host. It's about peace, development, life and freedom.
Being deprived of all of these for so long I believe we should not mistaken our ability to vote as a privilege. It is actually a responsibility.
That responsibility is what has me panicking as we approach Nov. 28. I don't know how to make my decision. The last two times I took the step to make my voice count I basically blew it because my basis of choice was flawed from the beginning.
Everytime I remember that had I actually sent my ballot in the 2000 US elections I would've been one of the majority who put Bush into office. The reason I was going to vote for him was so lame, I am actually too embarrassed to reveal it in public.
The next time I voted I fully supported and backed one candidate over another in the Student Union elections simply because he was a friend of mine. Of course back then I had convinced myself and everyone around me it was because I truly believed in his capabilities. The truth is the candidate who lost and the one I did not support had a much better plan, better track record and would've been the better candidate.
This time I am on my own. I could take the easy way out and simply support the one candidate that the people around me support.There are so many opinions out there as to who will be the best representative in the parliament.
But there aren't enough plans out there to read. For some reason I can't seem to find information on all the candidates. Those who are not Internet friendly and simply take to the streets are different from the candidates who have all their activities online.
The media is so subjective that none of the mainstream papers or tv channels will give fair representation of the candidates. There are no debates to see candidates in front of each other and the whole process is confusing. Even the pages which explain the process are not all that telling.
The responsibility is overwhelming and as a friend of mine said, its as if we are being bullied into having a political opinion.
This time though I want to do things right.
I don't however know what the right thing to do is.
Voting is like parenting, you take a shot in the dark based on the books, (there are so many books with conflicting opinions you have to simply choose what makes most sense to you) or just do what your parents did before you.
At this point I can think of about 5 different conspiracies to put down as I struggle to study for the Nov. 28 test. But I won't go into them because now is not the time.
Is our time and effort worth spending for the unknown?
I truly do not know the answer to this.
One thing I do know from my experience with elections is they cause divisions. They cause hatred and anger between people. Splits and divisions that, in my opinion, SCAF has succeeded in nurturing between the people since Feb. 11.
So for the elections, if we do our research and manage to find anything, we will see that the goals are the same, the mission is one and action at this point is for the good of society. People may differ in their opinions of what is good, which is why we need to search well to find the proper representative of all these different people. BUT we need to remember that the days of personal gain on our account needs to come to an end, so let us not be puppets and fall into the trap of our inadequate media, ignorant gossip and do the work ourselves.