Elhamdolilla three weeks and a half ago my family and I welcomed our new little girl, Aisha, into the world.
So now they are three little rascals at home. Which I love and thank God for everyday. Especially when they are asleep.
Every night and day it's the same thing. The two older ones, Abdulrahman and Halima wake up at 6 am. They start their wants and nags and fights. It keeps going all day until 8 pm comes and they reach their peak crying and screaming and acting crazy because they are too tired. After battles they finally go to sleep. Their baby sister then starts her daily colic episodes where she screams nonstop. I give her her medicine and then all three are asleep.
That is when I feel I miss my kids! I feel tomorrow will be a new day. I will be more patient with them and have more fun with them and try to be a better mother.
Then the day starts all over again. The same way. They nag and cry and scream and I lose my temper and scream until the day ends.
It's really weird. As much as they are hard work and sometimes impossible to handle, I still can not imagine what I would do without them. Every day the hope remains that I become more patient and we become friends.
And to think at a point in time I thought I wanted a family like the one in the book cheaper by the dozen!
Monday, August 23, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Child Friendly Place of Worship, I want!
It's been a really long time since I've actually been to a masjid. The few times I did go to pray were at times I knew it wouldn't be crowded as a treat for my children.
Recently I've been wondering why masjids here in Egypt are not child friendly, or even people friendly. I was watching a TV show, that I rarely watch because it is always showing how backward we as Arabs are and it does get too tiring to see negative images of yourself, and today's episode he was showing masjids in Singapore as opposed to our Arab masjids.
The masjid in Singapore had a PLAY AREA!!!!!!!!!! It had sign up sheets for lessons that teenagers and children can attend, like classroom style. It had a full staff with a head and HR manager and the works. It was clean and fresh, sort of like our typical nady here but from the masjid. It even had a family prayer room.
I never thought of praying to be a family activity.
The bathrooms had toilets that are for adults and smaller ones for the children. Beautiful! The children themselves looked happy to be at the masjid. It makes you feel like you want to head to your neighborhood masjid and do something about it.
The most common complaint I hear about the women's section during tarawee7 or the Friday prayers is the children make too much noise. "Women should stay at home and its too much for the kids," is what most people repeat every year. "It's better for women to pray at home."
Really, we go everywhere all the time. Women are always going out and now we are the ones who take our children everywhere. Why are we still denied a basic right to enter a masjid whenever we please for fear of our children disturbing everyone?
I remember my childhood always being around the masjid in the US. Even my school was there and I remember we had so much fun at night. Sometimes we'd pray the tarawee7 and sometimes we had our sleeping bags and there was a room where my friends and I would sleep while our parents were praying. We looked forward to our trips there.
My kids enjoy it now. But my husband and I are always worried they may bother other people around them. And how long will this enjoyment last if we are always telling them to be quiet and stay close to us.
The government is always worried that masjids are breeding grounds for terrorists. If masjids all had to have an infrastructure like the one in Singapore, then people would gather there instead of closed houses and alleys. It would be a nady but more wholesome! Then everyone can enjoy a nice spiritual trip to the nearest place of worship. Even those poor souls with infants and newborn babies :)
Recently I've been wondering why masjids here in Egypt are not child friendly, or even people friendly. I was watching a TV show, that I rarely watch because it is always showing how backward we as Arabs are and it does get too tiring to see negative images of yourself, and today's episode he was showing masjids in Singapore as opposed to our Arab masjids.
The masjid in Singapore had a PLAY AREA!!!!!!!!!! It had sign up sheets for lessons that teenagers and children can attend, like classroom style. It had a full staff with a head and HR manager and the works. It was clean and fresh, sort of like our typical nady here but from the masjid. It even had a family prayer room.
I never thought of praying to be a family activity.
The bathrooms had toilets that are for adults and smaller ones for the children. Beautiful! The children themselves looked happy to be at the masjid. It makes you feel like you want to head to your neighborhood masjid and do something about it.
The most common complaint I hear about the women's section during tarawee7 or the Friday prayers is the children make too much noise. "Women should stay at home and its too much for the kids," is what most people repeat every year. "It's better for women to pray at home."
Really, we go everywhere all the time. Women are always going out and now we are the ones who take our children everywhere. Why are we still denied a basic right to enter a masjid whenever we please for fear of our children disturbing everyone?
I remember my childhood always being around the masjid in the US. Even my school was there and I remember we had so much fun at night. Sometimes we'd pray the tarawee7 and sometimes we had our sleeping bags and there was a room where my friends and I would sleep while our parents were praying. We looked forward to our trips there.
My kids enjoy it now. But my husband and I are always worried they may bother other people around them. And how long will this enjoyment last if we are always telling them to be quiet and stay close to us.
The government is always worried that masjids are breeding grounds for terrorists. If masjids all had to have an infrastructure like the one in Singapore, then people would gather there instead of closed houses and alleys. It would be a nady but more wholesome! Then everyone can enjoy a nice spiritual trip to the nearest place of worship. Even those poor souls with infants and newborn babies :)
Friday, October 9, 2009
Inshalla Time
From what I've seen, when foreigners come to Egypt or this part of the world one of their most common complaints is the lack of respect for time. They even have a phrase for that. "Inshalla Time". When I heard that at first I laughed but after thinking about it, I became saddened. The term inshalla time is just another piece of proof as to how much people misuse their religion and butcher a perfect religion. Also another tool people use to attack an otherwise perfect concept.
A term that was taught to us in order to rid an over successful society of arrogance has instead been turned into an excuse to being lazy.
When the term Inshalla was mentioned in the Quran, it was in the chapter, "The Cave". The story behind it was the Prophet (PBUH) was asked by some people about the story of the men who slept in the cave for over 300 years. He confidently said "I will tell you the story tomorrow." About two weeks past before the Angel came to Prophet Muhammad with the story and people had started challenging him. He thought it was because of his personal shortcomings and was very pained and saddened thinking he must have done something wrong. Then the chapter of "the cave" was revealed with the verse saying "do not say you will do this tomorrow except if God is willing."
This verse reminds people that there are two sides to action and getting things done, the first is taking action and the second part is knowing that with the action you take you must know that things will get done only by God's will.
Some people have now interpreted "Inshalla" as a way to hang their own laziness on God's will.
Inshalla by no means means we can be late to everything or not fulfill a certain committment. It is merely a reminder that you should work hard and do your part but know that what you do is all by God's will. It is a lesson in knowing you have control but not total control. However, a balance is important you must do the work in order for things to get done and when they get done you know that it is by the will of God.
In Egypt so many aspects of daily life are out of our hands. Traffic can suddenly stop because someone decided they needed extra security. The electricity can shut down freezing a whole companies operation. Anything can happen, so people say inshalla knowing that somethings are out of their hands. It would help to put these things into consideration when dealing with time in order to bring the term back to its original context.
It's up to us to change the perception of "Inshalla time" to a positive one again.
A term that was taught to us in order to rid an over successful society of arrogance has instead been turned into an excuse to being lazy.
When the term Inshalla was mentioned in the Quran, it was in the chapter, "The Cave". The story behind it was the Prophet (PBUH) was asked by some people about the story of the men who slept in the cave for over 300 years. He confidently said "I will tell you the story tomorrow." About two weeks past before the Angel came to Prophet Muhammad with the story and people had started challenging him. He thought it was because of his personal shortcomings and was very pained and saddened thinking he must have done something wrong. Then the chapter of "the cave" was revealed with the verse saying "do not say you will do this tomorrow except if God is willing."
This verse reminds people that there are two sides to action and getting things done, the first is taking action and the second part is knowing that with the action you take you must know that things will get done only by God's will.
Some people have now interpreted "Inshalla" as a way to hang their own laziness on God's will.
Inshalla by no means means we can be late to everything or not fulfill a certain committment. It is merely a reminder that you should work hard and do your part but know that what you do is all by God's will. It is a lesson in knowing you have control but not total control. However, a balance is important you must do the work in order for things to get done and when they get done you know that it is by the will of God.
In Egypt so many aspects of daily life are out of our hands. Traffic can suddenly stop because someone decided they needed extra security. The electricity can shut down freezing a whole companies operation. Anything can happen, so people say inshalla knowing that somethings are out of their hands. It would help to put these things into consideration when dealing with time in order to bring the term back to its original context.
It's up to us to change the perception of "Inshalla time" to a positive one again.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Pink
My 3 year old son sometimes chooses things because they are the color pink. Many times he does it thinking he is "rebelling" for choosing something that is for "girls." Other times he says I want blue because blue is for boys.
Even before I had him I used to say I don't want to make colors gender based let my kids wear whatever they like.
But really who specified pink for girls and blue for boys?
and everything else...
are these tags and labels there because people made them up so it stuck or are they there because they really do give certain vibes?
Even before I had him I used to say I don't want to make colors gender based let my kids wear whatever they like.
But really who specified pink for girls and blue for boys?
and everything else...
are these tags and labels there because people made them up so it stuck or are they there because they really do give certain vibes?
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
A Passive Reaction
Alot has happened since April and alot is happening now with the beginning of the new year.
On a personal front people got married, babies were born. My daughter started walking, my son ventured off into the world when he started nursery.
On an international front the first black president was elected for office in the United States. Bush was hit by not one but two shoes at a press conference in Iraq. The olympics in Beijing was a success and very entertaining! The stockmarket crashed.
And Gaza is currently being attacked once more with the weak Israeli excuse of protecting themselves from the "evil terrorist organization Hamas" which unfortunately our beloved Egyptian government has believed themselves. By refusing to meet with the democratically elected Hamas faction from Gaza President Mubarak gave the Israeli government the silent approval of all the death and destruction going on in Gaza.
Last night a very loud and organized march took place on my street hear in Alexandria. Loud chants, "Oh Palestinian, your land is my land and your religion is my religion," "There is no god worthy of worship but Allah," "God is great." It shook the street and everyone was looking out of their balconies to watch.
And then what?
What good is the voice of the people when the ruling party supports the attrocities?
To me this march reminded me of the passion I felt for the Palestinian issue and now how passive I have become in the face of the Palestinian plight. But staying quiet and keeping our sadness to ourselves is what made me become this passive. The selfishness of feeling content with my life therefore not worrying about anything else in the world is what is pulling the whole situation backward.
On a personal front people got married, babies were born. My daughter started walking, my son ventured off into the world when he started nursery.
On an international front the first black president was elected for office in the United States. Bush was hit by not one but two shoes at a press conference in Iraq. The olympics in Beijing was a success and very entertaining! The stockmarket crashed.
And Gaza is currently being attacked once more with the weak Israeli excuse of protecting themselves from the "evil terrorist organization Hamas" which unfortunately our beloved Egyptian government has believed themselves. By refusing to meet with the democratically elected Hamas faction from Gaza President Mubarak gave the Israeli government the silent approval of all the death and destruction going on in Gaza.
Last night a very loud and organized march took place on my street hear in Alexandria. Loud chants, "Oh Palestinian, your land is my land and your religion is my religion," "There is no god worthy of worship but Allah," "God is great." It shook the street and everyone was looking out of their balconies to watch.
And then what?
What good is the voice of the people when the ruling party supports the attrocities?
To me this march reminded me of the passion I felt for the Palestinian issue and now how passive I have become in the face of the Palestinian plight. But staying quiet and keeping our sadness to ourselves is what made me become this passive. The selfishness of feeling content with my life therefore not worrying about anything else in the world is what is pulling the whole situation backward.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Then and Now
A friend of mine was reading my blog. She said for a moment she forgot who was writing because of the content. All the talk about children and marriage was uncharacteristic of me. Ofcourse, the me she was refering to was college me. Since the transition was sudden and quick many people did not have a chance to let reality sink in.
A part of me hasn't let it sink in either.
After being the type of person who on occasion would spend a quiet afternoon at home...very rare occasions, I am now the person who enjoys a nice relaxed evening out on occasions...extremely rare occasions.
When my day once started by lazily getting out of bed by the sound of the call to the Dhuhr prayer on my days off and on school days whenever my classes are. The only responsibility is classes and courses i choose and when I sleep I sleep, when class is over thats it. Vacations are truely vacations.
Now the summer time is the busiest time for me. I have to take the kids out all day long. The work is never ending. My day begins at the sound of one of the kids calling for mommy at around 5 am.
On my rare days out without the children my mind is always on them.
Which is better then or now?
I am reminded of the answer everytime one of my children succeeds in something and shows promise of becoming an active and positive member of his/her society.
Life goes on and each stage in life is different. Although I enjoyed my childhood much more than I am enjoying now but I will work hard to give my children the memory of a good childhood to comfort them when they are struggling in their adult lives for a better world.
A part of me hasn't let it sink in either.
After being the type of person who on occasion would spend a quiet afternoon at home...very rare occasions, I am now the person who enjoys a nice relaxed evening out on occasions...extremely rare occasions.
When my day once started by lazily getting out of bed by the sound of the call to the Dhuhr prayer on my days off and on school days whenever my classes are. The only responsibility is classes and courses i choose and when I sleep I sleep, when class is over thats it. Vacations are truely vacations.
Now the summer time is the busiest time for me. I have to take the kids out all day long. The work is never ending. My day begins at the sound of one of the kids calling for mommy at around 5 am.
On my rare days out without the children my mind is always on them.
Which is better then or now?
I am reminded of the answer everytime one of my children succeeds in something and shows promise of becoming an active and positive member of his/her society.
Life goes on and each stage in life is different. Although I enjoyed my childhood much more than I am enjoying now but I will work hard to give my children the memory of a good childhood to comfort them when they are struggling in their adult lives for a better world.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Do Not Tell Me...or wait Tell Me
Ignorance is bliss.
But Knowledge is power.
Which one is it?
Recently I found out so many things about people around me that are very disturbing. So I keep saying I do not want to know. At the same time I keep asking questions. Trying to find out more and more. I figure the more I know the more I can make an educated opinion. Since I was already told part of the story I should hear the rest of the story so I have a clear picture and I can give advice based on the whole picture.
But really, how much should we know?
The more you learn the more responsibility is placed on your shoulders. Even in our religion we are ordered to spread the knowledge. An Arab poet, Ahmed Shawqy, said a teacher is almost like a messenger.
So at what point do we say enough, dont tell me anymore. Or is it better for the world to try to know everything? Socrates asked a lot of questions and got killed for that. Meanwhile, at the corner of my street the begger's ignorance is what led him to the life he is leading.
When my friend told me just highlights about her marital problems i gave her advice. When I found out details of her problem I realized my advice was horrible.
The more you know the more you can help your society.
The less you know the more you can live a happy life.
Selfish.
But Happy.
You choose.
But Knowledge is power.
Which one is it?
Recently I found out so many things about people around me that are very disturbing. So I keep saying I do not want to know. At the same time I keep asking questions. Trying to find out more and more. I figure the more I know the more I can make an educated opinion. Since I was already told part of the story I should hear the rest of the story so I have a clear picture and I can give advice based on the whole picture.
But really, how much should we know?
The more you learn the more responsibility is placed on your shoulders. Even in our religion we are ordered to spread the knowledge. An Arab poet, Ahmed Shawqy, said a teacher is almost like a messenger.
So at what point do we say enough, dont tell me anymore. Or is it better for the world to try to know everything? Socrates asked a lot of questions and got killed for that. Meanwhile, at the corner of my street the begger's ignorance is what led him to the life he is leading.
When my friend told me just highlights about her marital problems i gave her advice. When I found out details of her problem I realized my advice was horrible.
The more you know the more you can help your society.
The less you know the more you can live a happy life.
Selfish.
But Happy.
You choose.
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